Look at Me
by faultylilac
Summary: The untold inspiration behind the creation of Amon. [[Hiatus]]


**Prologue**

It was dark, and it was cold. Noatak could barely see two feet in front of him. He stumbled multiple times over rocks, over his own feet. He hadn't eaten anything for three - or was it four? - days. The blizzard hadn't gone down, and he lost his sense of direction. Tears began to brim at the corners of his eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall. Noatak stuffed his fists into his pockets for warmth and gritted his teeth.

He cursed his father Yakone for teaching blood bending. He cursed his brother Tarlokk for refusing to escape with him. He cursed the Avatar for causing Yakone's thirst for revenge. He cursed the spirits for giving man the ability to bend. He cursed the world for allowing all of these terrible things to happen.

He cursed himself for leaving his family.

* * *

Noatak wasn't entirely sure how he managed to get back to the Northern Water Tribe on his own. But he did not return to his family. He stayed on the outskirts of the city, hidden in shadow where he knew his father would not find him.

The slums of the Northern Water Tribe were mainly ignored; Noatak's proud people did not want to admit that some made mistakes resulting in loss of a family, of a home. The only place offered to the misfits was a dark corner near the port. It was here that he spent his time waiting, only stealing food from the more fortunate than he when necessary. He waited, and waited, and waited. Two weeks he waited, before finally the trading ships from the Earth Kingdom arrived.

They stayed for a week to trade. Noatak caught sight of Yakone bargaining for a white pearl necklace, offering wolf meat. _Mother's birthday_, he remembered. Guilt threatened to suffocate him. Not even a minute after Yakone left, Tarlokk appeared with a fist full of coins and bought back the meat. He slouched as he walked, like the entire world was set on his shoulders.

The next night, the merchants began gathering their cargo. Noatak snuck on board.

* * *

"What are you doing in here, kid?"

He struggled awake, famished. The traders hadn't stored the food with the rest of their earnings. He should have figured they would be held somewhere they wouldn't spoil. Noatak blinked continuously, trying to focus. The stranger slowly came into focus; a middle-aged man, with graying hair and tired eyes. He didn't look angry or upset, but concerned. Noatak tried to sit up.

"Need some food? You look a bit skinny for a strong, young fella like you." The man offered him a hand, smiling.

His movement triggered something inside Noatak. Before he realized what was happening, that he was bloodbending, the man crumpled down at Noatak's feet. He gasped in surprise, but otherwise didn't make a sound. His face was contorted with pain, and his eyes - his eyes unnerved Noatak. He expected the man to plead for his life. He expected the man to try to resist him, capture hold of him. Instead, he was worried. About _Noatak_. The one who was doing this to him.

With a quick flick of his wrist, Noatak lightly threw the man into the far corner, away from the exit. Then he ran out.

* * *

He didn't know where he was going.

After leaving the ship, Noatak walked aimlessly. He didn't stop at the town the merchants had ported at, worried that the man he had attacked might live there. He couldn't bear seeing the concern or the worry in his eyes again.

He stopped at the second town he came across, a week later. His stomach grumbled; all he had been eating were berries and rock-shaped nuts that could very well have been rocks. He refused to use his bending for water.

Noatak surveyed the village. It wasn't too large. The buildings were arranged in a lopsided circle with a fountain adorned with candle lanterns and floating tiger lilies at its center. The village's people ran to and fro, calling out to each other cheerfully and exchanging various items. Noatak lingered to the side, out of the way, out of view. He blended in with the shadows well as he watched. What were the townspeople celebrating?

Not even an hour later, they all suddenly disappeared, hurrying outside of the town's odd circle. Noatak frowned, but he was too exhausted to follow. He slid down the wall of the house he was hiding behind and closed his eyes.

When the sun sat on the horizon, its light burning lowly, Noatak heard music. At first it was faint, but it steadily grew louder. He cracked one eye open and peered around the corner of the house. The villagers had returned, jumping and dancing. Some were playing the instruments responsible for the music. The parade was lead by a woman and a man, both in white. They held hands and danced around the fountain, laughing. The man spun the woman multiple times before pulling her close and kissing her._ A wedding_, Noatak thought in slight wonder. It was different than those in the North Pole. He continued to watch with interest.

The music and the cheering and the dancing and the kissing continued before one elderly, portly man jumped in front of the musicians and waved his arms earnestly. They stopped playing so suddenly, in the middle of a note, that everyone looked expectantly to the man. Their smiles never left their faces.

"My son," he said, beaming at the man in white, "you have become the man I had hoped you would be. No, you have become more than that. You have brought honor to our family. Cherish your new wife. Protect her and love her unconditionally, and you may find that you never want to leave your bed again!" He let out a hearty laugh that seemed to start from the pit of his stomach. The other villagers joined in the kind laughter while the couple blushed, still holding one another. The man shuffled forward and placed necklaces around their necks, the pendants too small for Noatak to see. He smiled, then motioned for the musicians to pick up where they had left off.

The music now was more upbeat and wild than before. Everyone was dancing - everyone, Noatak realized, except one girl. He squinted, studying her. She was sitting on the steps of the house angled across from the one he hid behind. She was half hidden in shadow, wrapped in a cloak with the hood pulled over her head. A delicate glass balanced between her fingers, a quarter empty of the shining golden drink. There was not much he could tell about her. All he could see were her long, black hair, darker than the night sky, and her thin, pale lips.

Suddenly, she looked up. She caught Noatak staring at her and held his gaze. His breath caught in his throat. Her eyes were piercing green. They were vibrant. And full of anger. They were mesmerizing the way a poor man might find a diamond dazzling. He found that he couldn't look away. As the girl raised an eyebrow in amusement, he couldn't stop the smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

* * *

The villagers were awake most of the night. When the moon rose to its peak, Noatak breathed in, feeling the power he gained from it. He ached to bend again. But he refused to.

He glanced at the girl. She wasn't looking at him; another boy was speaking to her. Noatak watched the teenager skeptically. There was something about the way that he held himself that Noatak didn't like.

It was obvious that she didn't like it, either. She leaned back and gazed up at the boy with the same raised eyebrow. Her lips moved slowly before she swallowed the last of her drink. Noatak tried to make out the words, but with no success. The girl waved her hand lazily and lightly pursed her lips while the teenager shuffled his feet. _Whatever he's saying, she doesn't like it_, Noatak guessed, and then her green eyes flashed, as if confirming his thoughts.

The girl leaned forward slowly as she pulled back her hood. Noatak gasped, despite himself. She had rich, olive skin, probably from working out in the hot sun all day long in the summer. Her lips were a strong contrast to her skin, but that wasn't what startled Noatak. It was the burn at the corner of her face that stretched to her neck and her collarbone. Her left ear was mangled from the burn.

When he collected himself, ashamed, the teenager was gone.

The girl stood and left, not sparing Noatak a glance.

* * *

"Thief!"

_Fool_, Noatak thought, _I could kill you easily_. He struggled against the massive man. Noatak's wrist was caught in his fist. In Noatak's other hand was an apple, and in the merchant's other hand was a knife.

"The price for thievery is a hand!" he bellowed. He slammed Noatak's wrist down onto the wooden stand, causing it to shake and some of the fruits to tumble off.

Noatak glanced around nervously. Some of the villagers stopped, looking on. Would no one help him? He continued to fight the man, kicking at him. But he would not let go of the apple. And he would not bend.

The merchant's arm moved in a fast arc, the blade clenched in his fingers, ready to slice-

Just inches away from Noatak's wrist, the blade stopped, quivering. Noatak blinked, staring at the slender fingers that gripped the hand holding the blade. He saw that connected to those slender fingers was a slightly built arm, and connected to that arm was _the_ girl.

"Enough, Minsoo," she said. Her voice was... different, than what he had expected. The words drawled over her tongue, yet they were sharp, and held a tone of authority. But what kind of authority could this girl even _have_? "I'll pay for the apple."

The merchant shook off the girl's hand and laughed haughtily. "With what, Paikea?" _So that's her name_, Noatak thought. "You and your brother barely have enough to keep that petty farm of yours from burning to the ground."

She seemed unfazed. "It's funny how this town works. One night we celebrate together. We eat together and we drink together - and not even a couple hours later, we want to shed blood. Like it's _nothing_." Minsoo frowned. "He's not from here," Paikea continued, gesturing to Noatak. "He's a stranger. Ji-Hong is small enough for everyone to know one another. Everyone knows what happens in this village." Her green eyes darkened.

Minsoo laughed again. "Fine, girl. I'll save the boy's hand." He let go of Noatak and sheathed his dagger. "That'll be one silver piece."

"Your fruit are normally three copper pieces, Minsoo," Paikea hissed, but she brought out a little pouch hidden inside her cloak and dropped a silver coin onto Minsoo's stand.

The merchant snatched at it, eyeing it carefully. Satisfied of its authenticity, he stuffed it somewhere in his apron. He shrugged as Paikea continued to glare at him. "It's business."

Paikea pulled her hood up over her head as she turned around, the chilly winter breeze carrying her hair. "And my brother wonders why I hate Ji-Hong," she muttered under her breath as she walked away. Noatak looked at her retreating figure for a moment before turning in the opposite direction, taking a bite of his apple.

"Where do you think you're going?"

He paused mid-step, wondering if the girl was talking to him.

"I'm talking to you, stranger. _Where_ do you think you're going?" she continued. Her hands were on her hips, opening her cloak and revealing her light gray tunic. It fit snugly to her slim body.

_It's as if she's reading my mind_, Noatak thought, shaking his head. He faced Paikea. "Leaving."

"No, you're coming with me. You're going to work off that silver piece at my farm. Then you can leave."

* * *

Paikea seemed to hesitate before walking into the little hut that he guessed she lived in. Noatak tried to follow but she closed the door in his face after a very quick, almost incomprehensible "Wait here."

The farm wasn't that large. It was a couple miles away from the village. There was grass and a stable for ostrich horses on the west side of the farm and stalks of wheat grew to the east. Noatak knew it wasn't harvest season yet; that wouldn't be for a couple of months, and winter was closely approaching. How long would he have to stay here? Then again, he could just leave. Right now.

But this girl - she was interesting. Paikea wasn't like the girls from the Northern Water Tribe. Something had happened to her. She probably wasn't born with that burn. She probably didn't grow up hating Ji-Hong. She couldn't always have been so bitter. He felt a desire to find out what her story was, detail for detail.

The door of the hut opened and out walked a young man, maybe around twenty years of age. Paikea followed after him. He had long night-black hair pulled into a ponytail, swarthy skin, thin, pale lips. He looked like a male copy of Paikea. Except taller. And his green eyes were not nearly as vibrant. Noatak guessed this was her brother.

Noatak straightened, placed his fist and palm together, and bowed lightly.

"What's your name, stranger?" the brother asked. His voice was deep and held the same authoritative tone that Paikea's had when she spoke to Minsoo.

Noatak blanked for a second, unsure whether to share his real name or not. "Shang."

Paikea's brother nodded, then folded his arms over each other across his chest. "I'm Jian. You obviously already know Pai." Noatak nodded. "You'll be staying with us until harvest season. My hut isn't big enough to hold the three of us, so you'll have to stay in the stables. Pai will set things up for you. Do you know how to farm, Shang?" He shook his head. Jian frowned slightly. "You'll learn."

* * *

The ostrich horse stable was larger than Noatak had thought. When Jian had said that he would be sleeping here, he was worried he would be sleeping in the dung. But the stable had a second level high above to store the hay, and the dung was outside.

He helped Paikea bring up the blankets. She gathered some of the hay together and placed the heaviest blanket atop it, smoothing it over. "It's not like the mattresses the Fire Nation's Royalty own, but it's comfortable," she explained. She motioned for Noatak to check it for himself.

Noatak laid down. "It's nice," he said.

Paikea nodded absently and set the other two blankets beside the makeshift bed. She began climbing down the stairs when she paused, turning over her shoulder to look at him. Her burns were illuminated by the sun shining in through the window. "Come to the hut at seven. That's when Jian and I eat dinner. And you're welcome, for saving your hand."

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed the story so far :)**

**I have the beginning and the end planned, and I'm still brainstorming ways to make the middle as interesting as possible.**

**Extra info: Noatak is sixteen. I'll try to somehow reference A:TLA but this is my first time writing in a couple years so bear with me.**

**Please leave reviews, thanks so much!**


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